Take A Second
by runningaroundthelemontree
Summary: My take on what it would be like if Izzie ever returned. -First chapter is a prologue which is why it is short. Other chapters will be MUCH longer. Please do read.
1. Prologue

_It hurts sometimes. To look at your life and see you have no other choice. The thing is, we all have to make choices, and there is no avoiding that. But how are we to know that our choice is the good choice? We cannot try on our choices before we buy them. And worse, there seems to be a consequence for everything. . Quite often good things have hurtful consequences. I remember how one of my teachers told me, after catching me misbehave that "while I was free to choose my actions, I was not free to choose the consequence of my actions. It's silly really, we just have to close our eyes and hope we are lucky enough to be spared the consequence._

* * *

She dreaded the moment that would come. It was inevitable. She had always supposed that leaving the way she did, would come back to bite her in the ass. So maybe this is it, maybe this is her consequence. Not the death she was sure to endure if she didn't return, but the act of returning in itself. It hurt to think of what was to come. In fact it hurt to think at all. What would she say? No. She was more frightened of what they would say.

It would have been simple to just turn back. But living was never simple. Yes. She wanted to live. That was it. It was her human desire to live that led her back despite all else.

_**Hello, this is my first fic in awhile. Note this chapter is very short only because it is more of a prologue. I promise future chapters will have **__**MUCH **__**more sustenance to them. Anyway I hope you are intrigued enough to keep reading. I am to have the first proper chapter up tomorrow. **_


	2. Chapter 1

_**Ok, so here is the first proper chapter. Now before you begin reading I have to say regarding the whole story. I don't know Jack about **_**medicine. It would be cool if I did. Maybe I will someday. But I am only in high school. So I am not like a paramedic or nurse like some of the writers on this site, where the medicine in their stories actually makes **_**sense. So basically I make up all the medicine, and it is all incorrect.**_

_**Also don't forget to REVIEW. If I don't get enough of an initial response I will think there is not much readership and will consider discontinuing the story. SO PLEASE DO REVIEW. GOOD OR BAD I gratefully accept both. **_

_**Enjoy.**_

The stream of victims rolling through the E.R seemed to be endless. Meredith hurriedly scanned the room for patients in the most dire need of attention. But that's the trouble with accidents like a building collapse, there are so many in need. She decided to choose a man with severe trauma to his head and left arm. What she could see of his body was covered scratches and deep cuts from where the rubble had punctured his body. She hurried over to his unconscious body, assessing the damage before she wheeled him off into one of the last remaining E.R rooms. She had about three doctors follow her in, she didn't catch who they were, except Lexie when she brushed past her into the room.

"Ok," Meredith addressed the room as she began to set up wire and tubes. She then grabbed a pair of scissors and cut away the shirt that had moulded to his chest revealing multiple bleedings. "We are going to need to clean the wounds and stabalise the bleeding before we get him down to CT." Everyone seemed to move at her words.

"What have we got Grey?" Owen's head appeared in the doorway as he came in to assess the situation.

"Caucasian male, late 30's severe head and arm trauma and multiple bleedings to the upper body." Owen looked to the man and then Meredith.

"What's your plan of action?"

"Stabalise the patient before getting him down to CT to see the full extent of his injuries. Then we can know what to deal with first."

"Right Grey" he gave a slight nod of approval. "Looks like you've got this one under control. I would call for Torres to give a consult on that arm after CT too." Meredith nodded her eyes never leaving the patient as her fingers continued to work.

* * *

_Damnit, _this day was just piling up death after death. It wasn't Cristina's fault, after all she had done everything she could for the three patients she had already lost. The thing was she kept choosing the most extreme cases, the patients that were practically dead by the time they reached her magical hands. The trouble is Cristina hates a bad outcome but she loves a great surgery. So perhaps it was that, her will for an exciting surgery that kept propelling her to help the dead. Or maybe, it was that she actually wanted to help the ones in most need. No, that couldn't be it. After all Cristina is not one to think about the patient over the surgery.

"Time of death 10.52" he pronounced, looking up at the clock.

She re-entered the ER just as Meredith rushed past with a patient.

"Hey where are you going?" Cristina asked hoping it would be an interesting case she could jump on.

"CT." Meredith responded hastily. "Sorry can't talk. In a rush. CT is backing up fast and I got to get in."

" Have you got something good?" Meredith gave a slight laugh. Not laughing in a joking way because she didn't have a good patient or anything but laughing because it was '_**classic' **_Cristina.

" I'll call you if I need someone to cut open his heart," she promised. And then she was gone, through the ER doors closing silently behind her.

Cristina sighed turning back to the massacre of bodies before her.

* * *

"There's a consult for you in room two." A nurse said holding out a chart for Derek. He pushed the chart back.

"A building collapsed, there are neuro patients all over the ER. I'll get to her when I can but for now she will just have to wait." Derek continued to read the chart in his hand before signing something and handing it to a nurse behind the ER desk. "Increase the pain meds of Mrs Limo in ER bed 5." The nurse nodded. Taking the chart before rushing off.

"Shepherd." Hunt called from the doorway of the ER room he was he in. "We need you in here."

"What have we got?" he asked entering the room.

"She was retrieved from a pile of rubble. She is conscious and there is response from her eyes but that is it." Derek pulled out a small light from his pocket. Turning it on he shone it in each of her eyes.

"Can you hear me?" He asked the girl. "Can you blink for me if yes." Her eyes were wide with fear and they darted back and forth. It took a moment but her eyes stopped and she stared at Derek before tightly squeezing her eyes shut. "That's great." He said softly touching the girl's palm. "Can you feel this? One blink if yes. Two blinks if no." The girl took another moment before squeezing her eyes shut. She opened them. And then squeezed them shut again. "Ok, can you try and wiggle your toes for me?" A tear slid down her cheek before she blinked, the tears forming, soothing her sore eyes. Derek stared at her feet giving her a full 5 minutes to see if she could move her toes. They were still. "Do you know her name?" he asked turning to Hunt, who shook his head. "This is a room full of the best doctors." He informed the girl. "And we are going to do everything we can to try and make you walk out of here." He looked at her for a moment before adding, "do you understand?"

She blinked once, for yes.

* * *

It was strange to be thinking how good her life was while she waited for CT results that would indicate the severity of the patient's injuries. It was strange maybe even heartless to think how good her life was while a man lies in CT with a life that is probably a mess of pain at the moment. But she couldn't help it. She couldn't help it though, she had Zola and Derek. And they were happy, all of them together were happy. She couldn't remember the last time she was so happy. That's the thing she hadn't been happy in a long time. Because that's the problem with being dark and twisty your rarely ever happy.

_Oh shit. _

The CT results were up. And they weren't good.

"What is that?" Lexie asked pointing to the monitor.

"It looks like a chunk of plaster puncturing his heart. Cristina will be happy." Not only did the man have something cutting into his heart but he also had mass signs of internal bleeding. He would need surgery right away. "Make sure an OR is prepped and ready. Also inform Cristina and tell her she is scrubbing in."

* * *

Most of the ER was cleared of patients now and the girl he was treating had been taken down to CT. Derek supposed he shouldn't keep his consult waiting any longer. After all it had already been most of the day. "Is my consult in room two still here?" he asked the nurse. In response she handed him the chart. He studied the chart as he walked into the room only lifting his head slight to acknowledge the patient. That first glance he barely noticed her. It took a second before he realised the familiarity in the patient. The signature blonde hair that now rested at her collarbone and yes, with that second glance he confirmed it.

_**Izzie Stevens**_


	3. Chapter 2

_**I guess for this story I just really wanted to explore what it would be like for Izzie to come back. She left so many things in the open so this is just how I would imagine it would go. This is the only way I could think to logically bring her back. I didn't think her realising what a 'massive' mistake she made in leaving would be an appropriate way to ignite the story so this is what I have decided to do.**_

_**I am not **_**sure how many Izzie return fanfics there are. I haven't read or seen any myself but that doesn't mean they are not out there and I think there would probably be quite a few of them. **

**The point is I hope this topic does not feel overused but hopefully it will be an interesting take on things. Anyway I hope you enjoy it and don't forget to ****REVIEW**** as ****REVIEWS**** keep me writing.**

Her heart faulted when Derek Shepherd walked into that room. It wasn't unexpected. In fact it was completely and utterly expected. The most expected a thing could ever be. She had known for a while now she had to come back. And she had known it was Derek she must see. And yet nothing could've prepared her, nothing she has told herself to work up to this moment. It is as if everything that once was shattered away and the only thing that remained was this moment right now. She had prepared so much. She had known exactly what she would say, even played up the scenarios of what would be said in return, but none of that seemed to penetrate her mind and the only thing she could manage was to give a weak smile.

She wasn't sure but Derek seemed to be in a somewhat similar state as her. Totally and completely paralysed, lost for words.

They seemed to stand in silence, with what in reality were only a few heart staking moments as they furiously searched their minds for guidance as to what to do next.

Derek was the first one to break the barrier. He knew it was best not question her sudden appearance. Seeing as it was him standing here before her, he knew without question the reason for her presence.

"Have you got your scans?" he asked rather solemnly. Izzie was grateful for the intentional lack of interest in her arrival. She had worried for months what their reaction would be to her. And although the worst was to come she was grateful to him for the piece of kindness he gave, without asking, lifting a small piece of a somewhat huge and terrifying weight from her shoulders.

She gave a slight nod retrieving a large envelope from her bag which laid casually across the bed as if it had been carelessly thrown on there. Derek took the envelope without hesitation quickly and carefully opening it to slide out the scans. He held them one at a time with the tips of his fingers. Holding them up to the light he squinted. His face remained concentrated and the hidden wrinkles of his face appeared as he studied the scans. He seemed perplexed by them and on a few occasions he tilted his head slightly to the side as if that would be the stimulus for a miraculous idea to flow through and show its self.

"You see why, I had to come back."

* * *

"I am such a gun!" Cristina exclaimed happily as she placed the large piece of plaster she retrieved from a man's heart in the waiting dish.

"See I don't get that." Lexie commented from the sidelines. "I don't get how you can treat them so … like they are just surgeries. As if they are not people at all."  
"So what?" Cristina shrugged. "I don't see how that has anything to do with anything. If I can save his life, what does it matter?"

Lexie rested it there. Perhaps Cristina had a point. In the end all that mattered was the patient's life. Suppose it didn't matter how you saved them, as long as you did that, save them.

Almost as if on cue the familiar beeping rung through the OR and in just a few short moments it would be followed by the unwelcome flat lining of the machine.

"What happened?" Cristina asked burying her bloodstained hands back into the cavity to search for any bleeds or cause for failure. "I'm clean," she said taking a step back her hands in the air.

"Damnit," Meredith sifted through the organs before her. "It's me. I've got three, maybe four bleeds." She ran the next steps through her mind before continuing. "Suction," she gestured to Lexie who came in ready with the suction. Meredith was starting to gain control of the bleeds. She could her Cristina behind her informing her that they were losing him.

"Let me do it," Cristina tried to cut in.

"Hold on!" Meredith hissed back. "That's it." She took a step back looking to the machine, the uniform beeps sounded and she sighed in relief.

* * *

"Mm we just saved a guy with plaster in his heart," Cristina informed Alex, swallowing a mouthful of yoghurt as she took her seat at the table. "Who did you save today?"

"No one yet." He took a mouthful of whatever it was he was eating. "They all keep dying before we can get them to surgery." He added gloomily. "But Arizona's got me on the case of some kid in the accident, apparently the dads already dead, and she's pretty much a goner too. I don't know, it sounds like a bad outcome to me."

"Yes, and you can't afford any more of those," Cristina said smugly.

"Shut up." Alex scrunched up his wrapper before throwing it at Cristina and heading off.

"Hey," Meredith turned to Cristina. "I don't mean to push or anything, but how are things with you and Owen?"

"Well we haven't spoken since the last time you asked this morning. So I'm going to go ahead and say, pretty much the same as last time." Meredith gave a residing sigh as she leaned back in her chair. She leaned forward back into Cristina again.

"So there's no chance of you moving back in with him anytime soon is there?"

"I'm starting to feel like I'm no longer wanted in your house."

"Cristina you know you are always welcome. It's just Derek and I we're married and we have a new baby, I just feel like we need more time in our home. Alone."

"If this is about sex, there is plenty of time to have sex in the hospital, and you can always just ask me to go hang out in the kitchen for a while. It's alright I'm cool with it."

"It's not the sex Cristina. I just think you and Owen need to figure out whether your marriage is going to work or not, so you can both move on with your lives."

**_Ok so that is that chapter. I hope people are starting to get interested. Let me know what you think. I will try to update soon. _**


	4. Chapter 3

_**I am considering not continuing the story as there has not been much of a response to it. So if you do want me to continue you need to get your reviews in. There is no point me continuing this story if nobody appears interested. **_

_**Anyway off that note I am adding more Izzie into this chapter so I hope that makes people happy. Anyway enjoy.**_

"Callie," Meredith caught up to her on the glass bridge.

"Yeah, Grey, what is it? I have a dislocated shoulder waiting. I know it's not urgent but the man's been waiting all day."

"I understand Dr Torres, it's just that I have a patient with severe trauma to the arm, from the building collapse this morning. I really need you to take a look at it." Callie thought for a moment, rearranging things in her mind.

"I had better take a look at that now then," she decided, following Meredith off towards the patient room.

* * *

Lexie stood in the room re adjusting some wires as Meredith and Callie walked in.

"This is Mr Kramer, 36 he had surgery to stop the bleeding in his bowls and intestines. He also had a shard of plaster removed from his heart. Oh and we contacted his wife and she is on the way." Lexie informed Callie.

Callie nodded as she rolled up her sleeves moving closer to observe the arm. Her forehead creased in worry.

"You said he's already had surgery?" Meredith stepped forward at this.

"Well yes, we had to stabilise the bleeding and remove the plaster before we could do anything else."

"You should have called for a consult before he went into surgery. His arm could've been saved."

"Could've been saved?"

"See this," she gestured for Meredith to step in and observe the arm. "The infection has spread, I'll have no choice but to remove the arm now."

"I – I thought the other injuries would take priority." Meredith stammered.

"I get it Grey, but you should've thought to call me. I could've given you a rundown of the damage and repaired the arm in the same surgery you dealt with the bleeds." Meredith stepped back. She didn't know what to say. "It's done Grey. But when he wakes up, you're going to have to be the one to explain to him why he has a stump for an arm."

* * *

"Steven's," Derek came into her room with a clipboard and papers. "I'm booking you for surgery late tonight after my spinal surgery." He walked over to where she sat on the bed. "Paperwork for you," he handed her the papers and clipboard in his hand. Which she took from him gloomily.

"They're all going to know aren't they?" she turned away from him to stare out the window. "I guess I can't hide anymore." Derek gave a slight nod.

"I'm afraid so." She closed her eyes. This was it. There was no more hiding, she had to face the cold light of day. She took a deep breath before staring down at the papers in her hand. She took the pen Derek held out to her and with a quick stroke of her hand she signed through the papers.

"There." She handed them back to Derek. "Are we done?" She asked bluntly.

"Yes," he answered gravely, backing out of the room. "I'll see you in surgery."

* * *

It was embarrassing really, to be standing there while Callie cut off what was previously a perfectly good arm. What was a perfectly good arm until she let it waste away. It was always hard when you made a mistake that would have been so simple to avoid, especially this far in her career.

The brrrrrrrrrring whirred and Callie moved in to amputate the arm. Just as the blade was nearly on skin, she looked up and the brrrrrrrrring stopped.

"Grey."

"Yes, Dr Torres?"

"Step forward." Meredith hesitantly did what was asked by her attending, worried that it would only lead to further trouble and humiliation. "I want you to do it." Meredith stirred silently in her spot for a moment. She figured this must be some form of punishment. She destroyed the arm so she must remove it, or something like that. Callie motioned with her eyes to surgical saw she held in her hands, indicating for her to take control. Meredith gave an awkward kind of half smile thing in an attempt to hide her embarrassment and reluctance to take the lead. Not that anyone could have seen the smirk anyway. She took the saw from Callie. It felt heavier and colder in her hands than usual. It wasn't that she was afraid or anything, I mean she had performed amputations before. It just seemed like the ultimate consequence for her mistake and she kept running ideas through her head, wishing, hoping that some kind of miracle would show its self. That the arm would be salvageable . But in the end she supposed Callie was right and the best thing she could do for the man now was to remove the arm to prevent further infection. She gave a small gulp, swallowing the excess saliva that stirred in her mouth. She turned on the saw and brrrrring sound filled the OR again. With a deep breath, she put the blade to the skin and with a small amount of pressure she easily removed the arm in a clean cut.

"Nice work Dr Grey," Callie complemented, as she inspected the wound. "Just clean it up and we're done." She annouced with a slightly brighter note.

* * *

It was devastating to hear the man bellow as he saw his stump of an arm. Callie leaned against the back wall her face stern and watching. Meredith tried to be heard over his frantic cries.

"I need my arm, we're having a baby. How am I supposed to raise my child with only one arm. I need both my arms."

"I'm sorry sir," Meredith sympathised with him. "If we had not removed the arm when we did, the infection would have spread to your heart. By then it would have been too late and you would've died." Meredith had tried to choose her words carefully but she wasn't sure it had come out so well.

"So there was no chance of saving the arm? It had to come off?" He seemed calmer now but Meredith gulped at his question, looking to Callie for guidance, who merely gave her a reassuring nod.

"The arm was salvageable if we had got to it before the infection had spread. But when you came to us our main priority was to stabilise the bleeding and repair the damage to your heart. That surgery was successful but by the time you were stabilised and we were able to deal with your arm it was too late."

* * *

Meredith left the room angry, mostly with herself. If she had taken the proper precautions the conversation would not have gone that way. She has had enough experience to not make these mistakes, but she had just seemed to slip. Her mind had wandered. And now that man was going to raise his child with one arm when there was no reason he couldn't have had two.

"Hey," Callie had caught up to her pulling her around by the shoulder. "It was just one mistake. It's not that big of deal."

"Why did you make me cut off?" she snapped. "Just to punish me? To rub my mistake in my face?"

"No." Callie retorted defensively. "You saved his life. Sure he has to live with one arm now, and while that's devasting and he will have to adapt to that, at least he has the chance to adapt to that. He has the chance to see his child grow up, and that is because of you Grey. Yes, you did make a mistake, but in no way was I punishing you by handing you that saw. I wanted you to finish saving his life…." She was sure Callie was trying to make her feel better. But she couldn't listen, she focused on something else. Her eyes were wide with shock as she honed in on the OR board behind Callie.

It read:

**Stevens, Isobel-Craniotomy **

_**Okay, so this chapter does not have much of Izzie in it. But Meredith has only just found out that she is back so I decided like half way through or something that it might be better to focus mainly on her for this chapter. But much more Izzie in the upcoming chapter(s), I promise. **_

_**Don't forget to review as reviews keep me writing.**_


	5. Chapter 4

_**Sorry this update has taken soooooo long I have been really busy and have had a lot going on. **_

_**Yes, so, sorry, and I hope to have the next chapter up in a much shorter time frame, but no guarantees.**_

_**Enjoy.**_

"Hey, I just heard," Cristina rushed up to Meredith who was leaning silently against the OR board. "Omg. It's true," Cristina gaped at the words that shone off the OR board.

"Yeah," Meredith pushed her stiff body off the board. She can't remember how long she had been standing there, but it was long enough to stiffen her bones. "Does Alex know?" A hint of concern in her voice.

"No." She paused as if to question herself. "No, I don't think so. He's supposed to be in surgery, on that little girl."

"Ok. Great. That's good isn't it?" She looked to Cristina who just gave a small shrug. "I think it's better he doesn't know. He can't know. He only just got over her, I mean I know she's been gone -"

"You're rambling." Cristina interrupted. A sense of carelessness in her voice. Meredith sighed, sliding down the wall.

"I know." Cristina slid down the wall beside Meredith. "Is it wrong that I'm not happy she's back?"

The silence seemed to fill the hall, only broken by the echo of feet across the cold, hospital floor.

"No," Cristina spoke at last. "She left." Meredith relaxed at this, some of the guilt she had been feeling lifted from her shoulders. She supposed Cristina was right after all it was true, Izzie had left. She had walked out and left them shocked and hurt in the process, particularly Alex. Was it fair for her to have come back after all this time? They had moved on with their lives. But now Izzie was back and perhaps that would only cause a rip through their lives. But on the other hand she could sympathise with Izzie. She knew, they all knew, the hell she had been through (granted they went through that hell with her) and so she reacted badly. When another unfortunate thing came her way (her being fired) she snapped and bolted. Meredith wondered if she, if they were partly to blame. Perhaps if they had given her more support and helped her more it would've been different. Then again she had thought she'd been a good friend, but she struggled to remember what it had been like.

The clatter and swoosh as the door swung open interrupted her thoughts. Her face was pale but her blonde hair had remained the same perfect shade of yellow. They stood up quickly as she was rolled through the doors.

"Derek," Meredith croaked with the shock of seeing Izzie, the realisation that she was actually back had hit her. Derek gave one last soft push of Izzie's bed, before his hands released their grip on the railing and she was wheeled off, out of sight. He moved over to Meredith, ignoring Cristina who stood motionless to the side. He placed a comforting hand on Meredith's back. "How did it go?"

"OK." He put it simply. Meredith was frustrated by this response.

"Care to elaborate?"

"We got most of it," Derek sighed. "We will go back in and see if we can get the rest."

* * *

Her eyelids were heavy as they fluttered sightly. She didn't want to wake she wanted to stay happily, dreamily inside minds creations. But her body wouldn't let her. With a sickly groan her eyes slowly opened, wriggling slightly in her trapping sheets. It was blurred at first as she gazed hazily around the room, licking her dry, chapped lips.

"Hey," she felt the softness of human skin on her arm. And her eyes focused to see the Meredith lingering over her bed.

"Hey," she croaked through coarse lips, reaching out for water. Her fingers instantly curled around the cold glass as she brought it to her lips. She jolted forward as she coughed, the water had gone down the wrong way.

"How are you feeling?" Meredith asked flicking though her chart. Izzie seemed to ignore this.

"You didn't have to you know," she rested back into the soft pillows with a sigh.

"Of course we did." _**We, **_she looked around the room and sure enough there Cristina perched, resting silently against the door frame, like a cat in the night. If it were not for Meredith she wouldn't have noticed her. Cristina turned her head slightly to Izzie, giving her a slight half smile. Izzie couldn't help but to return this. There was oddness to having Cristina there. It was a nice odd she supposed. It had been Cristina who she had first confided in. Cristina who other than Derek had saved her life.

She closed her eyes letting her head fall back on the pillow.

"Alex?" she breathed.

"He doesn't know."

"Oh." She wasn't sure if she was relieved or upset on one hand she wanted to get it over with but then she didn't know if she had the strength to face him. Plus a small part of her, _very small, _and if you asked she would only deny it, but perhaps a small part of her was excited, eager to see what had become of him. "So," she said awkwardly, trying not to linger on her thoughts. "What have I missed, while I've been gone?" she gave a pathetic little laugh. "What about you Mer?" she turned to Meredith. "Are you and Derek still together?" she felt awkward, out of place to be asking questions of them when she had only just returned, talking to them as if they were still friends, as if nothing had happened. But she had to she couldn't survive the silences with them. Perhaps they would only have to talk a little while. They are doctors after all, surely there is someone dying in that hospital that needs their help.

* * *

He sat awkwardly on the little table opposite her bed. He didn't know how he ended up here. He had thought it was all over, hoped it was all over. He hadn't meant to come in, but once he knew, how could he not? And he was sure to find out after all gossip spreads in this hospital faster than disease. And the presence of former doctor Isobel Stevens was a hot topic for gossip. So once he had found out he made it through almost two hours before he followed it up. He had hesitated outside her room, seeing her helpless in that hospital bed through the crack in the blinds brought back memories he had thought had long since died. So he had faulted. He leaned breathlessly against the outer wall building up the courage to go in there the courage to face old demons.

He wiped his brow glancing up at her. Her gaze never quavered from him, remaining quiet, apprehensively waiting for him to speak, to say something, anything.

The silence seemed to stretch on for an eternity and she could her the ticking of the clock, which sounded loud and perhaps it was just that her mind that made it sound like the beating of a heart as the seconds ticked on.


End file.
